I sat there waiting, for my kid to return.
Tears filled my eyes.
Was it from staring at the empty swing or
Is it from the void forming inside my heart
There she comes, all happy and joyous..
What do I tell her..how do I stop her from going to the neighbors’ home
I just want to scream out loud holding her tight
How do I tell her that her dad is gone
That she will have to colour all alone again
My hand shivers and trembles
A lump blocks my throat
She runs as she sees me putting her fragile hand acroos my shoulder
She kisses me on my cheeks, the baby smell still lingers on her breath
“mamma “ she cries “im hungry”
I had already prepared it, kept it ready
We would eat from the same plate, as always
But today I will have only one mouth to feed
I take her inside in my arms
I notice only today that she has become heavy,she is growing fast
I put her on the bed. She asks
“why on the bed mamma, we usually eat on the chair”
I replied. It was easy for us to lie down after dinner.
She said she wanted to play snake and ladder after
But there wont be any time left to play
I don’t know how long we will be awake
Many thoughts fly past my mind when I feed her
The day she was born, he was standing there holding her
Beside me when I opened my eyes.
I had feared that day,. Life cannot be so perfect
I feel she is drifting away or is it me
All I can feel now is her hand on my cheeks…
Even on the last moment I pray
Hope she doesn’t feel any pain.